🌀Navigating my Inner Chaos- Thoughts about self development.
Hello World!
Today, I've woken up with a horrible cut on my face. So I've quickly disinfected it and put on a band-aid. I've brewed myself my usual black coffee, and meditated for the first time in months, after a whole night watching a bad movie, drinking beer and playing Max Payne.
You see, I don't quite understand why I do this to myself. Maybe it's an addiction already, but I know this isn't good for me. Still, I keep on repeating it, like if something good would come out of it.
If you check the internet, (the social media sites, mostly) A lot of people seems to be just.. lost, too. proudly saying they lost control of their lives(I've quite lost control of it, too. I'm no different from them. We live on the same virtual world, after all.). This makes me sad. Makes me mad. Makes me feel...Alright?
Even though there's a side of me that's all about order, there's this another pest inside that just doesn't care about it at all. It drinks, it screams and it has the most fun It has ever had.
However, the orderly part, although quite sad, helps me manage trough life, which is a hard thing! It's hard to wake up early.It's hard to study! But the sense of accomplishment, the sense that I'm capable of doing something, is one of the best out there.
I may sound like a Chuuni here, but that's how I think! I'm a person who spent a lot of time being strange online. Lol.
I want, this year, to finally be able to get myself a job compatible with my Computer Engineering major! I've even bought and started reading a book about embedded systems for my birthday! You see, I may drink a lot and be confused about a lot of things, but I can still hold myself in the orderly one. Thanks for helping me out. myself.
So...Today, let's do our best again, shall we?
I'm rooting for you!😄